How to prevent your child from taking a wrong turn In my novel Sleep Before Evening, a brilliant prodigy teenager named Marianne finds herself slipping down the treacherous path of heroin addiction. [...]]]> Join me in welcoming Maggie to Gloria’s Corner. Today Maggie will share some information on preventing teens from taking the wrong road. Enjoy!

How to prevent your child from taking a wrong turn

In my novel Sleep Before Evening, a brilliant prodigy teenager named Marianne finds herself slipping down the treacherous path of heroin addiction. It’s fiction to be sure, but one of the key inspirations for me as a parent, was to explore the way a well cared for, high achieving child might move, step to step, down that slippery and dangerous path.

There are all sorts of examples of bad parenting in the book, making it easy for my protagonist to move along her negative path. But there are also examples of good parenting; of people striving to do their best in whatever difficult circumstances they find themselves in. Marianne’s mother Lily is a bi-polar artist, and her illness is not only part of which she has become, but how she relates to her daughter. While the novel is ultimately redemptive, with a positive outcome and a positive message, it isn’t meant to be salutary or didactic. But fiction writers don’t dabble in solely made-up worlds. If your characters don’t follow a path which is realistic and utterly believable; progressive and natural; they won’t work for the reader. As an author, you have to go mentally to the places your characters go, even when those places are black indeed. It has to be real. It has to have the kind of truth that is almost truer than nonfiction, because you are also taking your readers there. You’re showing rather than telling, to cite that old writer’s chestnut.

As a mother, I continue to ponder how a child of mine might stray, and how I can help prevent that from happening while my children are still young. It may be wishful thinking, but I like to think that there are reasons why one child might say yes to something which is bad for them and one might say no-something deeper and more reliable than simply luck. So, after much pondering, here are five things which I think may make the difference between a child who is willing to try something they know is bad for them, and a child who won’t go beyond a certain point when it comes to self-destructiveness.

1. Self Confidence.

Your child needs to love his or herself to make the right choices. There’s an awful lot that parents can do to help develop self-confidence in a child. A lot of praise is the key. You have to really mean it too. It isn’t hard at all. Everything about our children is wonderful – all we have to do is notice all the fantastic things they do and tell them so, and tell others in their presence.

2. Did I say notice? Make time for your children.

If necessary, schedule them in. Mommy days. Daddy days. One on one, listening, taking time where you can really connect. Treat them with respect during this time. Talk to them about your own dreams using real language. Let them talk to you and put aside the parent mantel for a bit – just listening and letting them bounce ideas off you. That sense of trust is critical when they may be exposed to things they don’t understand.

3. Space.

That means giving them space to stretch – find out who they are, and make their own decisions. Lots of activity and lessons are great, but they also need relaxation and play time where they can think and dream and just explore who they are.

4. Laugh.

Kids can be really funny. Take the time to laugh at their jokes and tell your own to them. It’s good for you too and will help develop self-respect and keep those all important channels of communication open.

5. Pay attention.

This one may be the most important. I don’t think there’s any substitute for parental intuition. You have to keep your eyes open for your children’s moods, sensitivities, issues, and sometimes you have to winkle problems out. It helps if they trust you not to explode at them if they’ve made a big mistake. Sometimes they just need a shoulder to cry on, not advice.

So there you have it. I’m a loquacious sort of gal, and I’ve tried very hard to keep this brief – each of those five points would make a good solid book. Now for the big disclaimer – I’m only a mother and fiction writer. I’m not a psychiatrist, or a health professional. And my oldest child is only ten. So I’ve yet to put these theories to the real teen-test (but it’s coming.). Check back with me in six or so years. In the meantime, this is the best I can do. Which is all any mother can offer.

Magdalena Ball runs The Compulsive Reader http://www.compulsivereader.com/html.  Her stories, poetry, reviews and articles have appeared in many printed anthologies and journals, and have won several awards. She is the author of The Art of Assessment, Quark Soup, and Sleep Before Evening.

Thanks Maggie for sharing your article with us.

Thanks and have a great day.

Till next time,

Gloria

Welcome  Joyce Anthony, our guest blogger for today. Joyce has some urgent and important information to share with as many people as she can possibly reach. . .

And now I will turn over the soap box to Joyce Anthony.

Stop the Slaughter

Returning home from a routine trip to the library on Friday, [...]]]> Good-morning

Welcome  Joyce Anthony, our guest blogger for today. Joyce has some urgent and important information to share with as many people as she can possibly reach. . .

And now I will turn over the soap box to Joyce Anthony.

Stop the Slaughter

Returning home from a routine trip to the library on Friday, July 13, 2007. I found one of my beloved cats lying on the floor in a pool of blood, her tiny body wracked with convulsions. Checking on the others, I found two more unable to stand, their legs too shaky to hold their bodies, their bodies trembling fiercely.

Wrapping these three in towels, we headed for the Pet Emergency Hospital, where one of the first questions was whether I had recently given the cats a flea treatment—I had, that very afternoon. The next question: “Was it Hartz?” Again, my answer was yes. This was my first year using this particular brand.

When I left the hospital that night, it was without my three cats. They were too far gone to make it through. I left with instructions to bathe the remaining four and watch them closely. I followed this. They were quiet and nervous that night. By the next morning, another cat was in full-blown seizures and the other three were blinking rapidly and jerking, their muscles starting to be affected. Another trip to the Pet Hospital. When I left this time, one more of my babies was gone and the other three had been admitted. I was scared they would not make it. These three did come home. They survived physically, but my heart goes out to them as they wander through the house crying for those who are gone.

The look on the vet’s face got me thinking and I started to research. This was not the first tragedy caused by Hartz flea treatment. Cats have been dying from this product for years—yet the product remains on store shelves. Unsuspecting consumers, wanting to protect their pets and trusting the Hartz name buy and use it—sometimes it is fine, all too often it ends in tragedy.

I am asking you today to take a stand with me and demand that Hartz remove their flea treatment for cats from the shelves. Hartz knows the danger, they are aware of the record, yet they continue—this slaughter must stop!!

The warning on the box states simply the product should not be used on cats under five pounds, pregnant or ill. None of my seven fell into any of those categories—all were over five pounds, five over ten pounds. None were pregnant. All were healthy. The youngest was just over two years old and the oldest six—not kittens. Yet EVERY SINGLE ONE had a reaction!!!

How can you take a stand? The first step is to make a copy of this letter and post it anywhere and everywhere you can. Let people know the danger of this product.

Next, contact Hartz at:
Consumer Relations Department
The Hartz Mountain Corporation
400 Plaza Drive
Secaucus , NJ 07094 USA

Consumer Hotline
1-800-275-1414
Monday – Friday | 9 am – 5 pm EST

And insist they remove their product from the shelves. If you see the cat flea treatment on a store shelf, talk to the store manager, let him or her know the danger and ask that it be removed.

Hartz, how many more lives must be lost before you stop this needless slaughter? What is it going to take you to see the pain and horror in your child’s eyes when they watch a beloved friend die? Is it going to take looking into a pair of golden eyes that are begging for help as you hold the convulsing body that just hours before ran and played? If there is any compassion at all within you, you will see the need to remove this product immediately.

I panic every time one of my remaining three moves quickly. Hundreds of others out there do the same. It is too late to save so many—it isn’t too late to save the rest!!! I ask each and every employee at Hartz to stop by the pet shop on your way home tonight—or maybe you have a cat at home –really look into that cat’s eye and ask yourself this: Doesn’t that cat’s life mean anything? Is the money worth the pain and suffering?

If that doesn’t change your mind, look into your child’s eyes. What would you do if you gave this precious child medicine to help him or her and instead of helping, the medicine attacked every muscle, caused convulsions – and death?

My cats were my children—just as so many others are to those who love them. Find your conscious, search your hearts—and stop this senseless slaughter!!!

Joyce A. Anthony rainbow@velocity.net

Thanks, Joyce.

Till next time,

Gloria